Personal Growth

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”
-Oprah Winfrey-

This past week was neither a complete success nor a complete failure.  There were some good times had and some abysmal frustrations as well.  Non-communicative people are difficult to interact with at the best of times but add to that tired, whining children and constant childish under-breath grumbling by a 36 year old woman and…I was finding myself increasingly on edge.

I was alone on this front as Mike is deaf and although he does use hearing aids they are not a perfect replacement for natural good hearing.  He could not hear the majority of the muttered complaining and snide remarks but I could hear it all.

I chose not to say anything to him.  In the past when I mentioned something that his daughter had said he asked her about it…she denied it and he looked at me like I had lied or imagined it.  This time all I said was that I was having a hard time dealing with their visit…his response was not entirely mature, kind nor worth repeating.  Suffice to say that I felt I had no one to talk to about how I was feeling.

The point that I am getting at is that I cracked under the pressure and ended up spending most of the second last day of their visit alone in my grooming shop with the dogs.  It was the coward’s way out of an uncomfortable situation but at least I could immerse myself in some artwork which soothed me a lot.  They left shortly after breakfast the following day.

For me, this visit was a wake-up call that it must be time for some personal growth on my part.  I have a good life, peaceful and serene, however I did not cope well under those particular circumstances.  What am I lacking?  I am not going to beat myself up over this but I admit that I do feel disappointed in myself.  It was my intention to make this visit a pleasant experience…it was not.

Today’s “stone”  is  Day 237  disappointment, frustration, family=pain

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4 thoughts

  1. Sorry this didn’t go as you had hoped. I don’t suppose, no matter how hard you try, that you alone can make a visit pleasant. You can only do what you can do. Maybe an impromptu visit to a “sick friend” is in order for the next family visit.

  2. i like elena’s suggestion, rather than be put in this situation again withdrawal may be the better choice, something i certainly practice when necessary to reduce angst that may be experienced either by me or others … how much more loving and positive one can feel when one is not actually confronted by others who do not wish us well!

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